There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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