I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
