You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
