Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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