I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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