all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
