brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
