nut hugger
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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