# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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