so that wasnt chicken after all
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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