All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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