My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
