In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
