And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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