Kiss
Puke
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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