We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
