At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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