I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
