Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.