i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?