I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.