Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.