doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
