Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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