I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
