I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dicks are not precious.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
