: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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