Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
