You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
