I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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