it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
