There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
