I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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