I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
