Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
