My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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