My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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