The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
