It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
