Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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