I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
