Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
