1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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