what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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