he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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