why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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