i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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