I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize