Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
