I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
