It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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