That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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