We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So apparently I’m into choking now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
