I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
