I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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