Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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