never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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