I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
