are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
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They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
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first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.