I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"