I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
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No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.