I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...