I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.