That's intense
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I want is dick and wine.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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