I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE