If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
COCAINE IS GR8
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
