we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
