i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
